Nobody Gets the Core

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By Mike Johnson

No matter how deeply you love, nobody gets the last five percent.
This is yours alone, no matter what.
You need this foundational cornerstone of yourself to survive in this world.

Everyone who has loved deeply has been burned deeply.
No exceptions.

To severely burned people, ďthe last five percentĒ may now be 10, 20 or 50 percent.
Itís rational to protect ourselves because people always disappoint.
This is universally true.
No exceptions.

The disappointment may occur for moments or for years, but people can never match othersí expectations 100 percent.
This causes pain.

You can argue that we hurt ourselves by holding so tightly to expectations.
Or that our expectations are irrationally high.
Or we erroneously paint others as being better than they actually are.

Then when they fail to meet expectations, what we really feel is that WE are the unworthy problem.
We werenít good enough for them to ďgive usĒ what we expected.
If we were better, they'd freely behave as we want.

This is not true. But itís what causes the sharpest pain.

Unaware, accidental disappointment is the easy stuff.
That can be sorted out with better communication.

Purposeful betrayal is another animal entirely.
If someone purposely betrays your trust, they deserve removal from your life.
They did what they did and talking about it canít fix it.

You saw who they are and they do not meet your minimum requirements to stay in your life.
Itís possible they can improve their character and stop future betrayal.
But that is extremely rare. Most people are not able to quickly change.

Itís even more rare to forgive a betrayal and forget it enough to stay in the relationship.
This doesnít happen overnight either.
It becomes a fulltime mental job just to maintain equilibrium when you think of them.
Few betrayers are worth that effort.
Thereís other, better fish in the sea.

No one person deserves the majority of your mental bandwidth.
So statistically, the best policy is: ďIf they betray, they canít stay.Ē

Pain exists to force personal growth. It can sting or it can rip your guts out.

Thatís why itís so important to hold tightly to your core.
If the world is pulled out from under you, thatís all you have left.
Luckily, it's enough.

Nobody gets the core.


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