"Do you still accept paper money?"
The cashier does a double-take.
I enjoy watching faces contort when I ask this question. They give me real groceries, I give them fake money.
This is my own mental game. I pretend I'm the only sane person on the planet. Armed with a pocket full of Federal Reserve monopoly money, I enjoy exchanging it for real goods.
The game is even more fun when I use a credit or debit card. Now I'm exchanging nothing, disguised as digits on some computer, for real goods. It'll be a shame when the power goes out.
The scam is so thrilling, I feel like a central banker.
The bankers actually do the hard work of printing & keystroking this fake money from thin air. Their relentless media cons everyone into believing it's "real." I just have to collect it & exchange it for real goods.
The funnest exchange I ever make is trading a $20 bill for a one-ounce silver coin. Silver has been used as real money for 4,000 years. Federal Reserve notes have only been around 100 years. It's amazing that people will still trade real silver for fake money.
They also take fake money for food, clothing, tools, medicine, guns, ammo, homes, cars, land, seeds & farm equipment.
This won't always be the case.
Do you still accept paper money?
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